Seasonal Changes, Holiday Preparation and Family Stress

Children like to have the same book read, game played, or song sung over and over. They find comfort in familiar things and knowing what to expect. For their brains and bodies, the world is huge and full of new objects, concepts, words, etc., all needing to be processed and stored. Things that are predictable and familiar let their busy nervous systems take a break and calm. 

But every day can’t be the same, even seasonal changes bring abrupt shifts in clothing, food and activities. Holidays and vacations take children away from predictable school and home routines. This can be stressful for children, leaving their bodies off balance with no familiar place for their brains to anchor.

I remember hours of holiday shopping as a child wearing a thick plastic jacket and boots that were too big. These created problems with negotiating spaces as well as temperature regulation. I was so hot, uncomfortable and bored. I tried to regulate by touching things and swinging on the cart. I also whined because I couldn’t voice what was wrong. I only knew my body was screaming from the inside because things just didn’t feel right. I needed help to do the things my mother wanted which was to let her get the shopping done. 

Below are some tips to help with the days of holiday prep. 

Check in with your child - Help them learn to use words to explain what they are feeling. Let them offer solutions to their problems and try them out. Parents can ask, “What would make your body feel better right now so we can get this shopping done?” If your child can’t think of solutions, offer some to consider, “What if we unzip the jacket would that help with the hot feeling?” “What if we try X as an experiment?” In doing this you help your child identify their feelings and possible solutions they can consider for the next time. You can also model the behaviors. “Wow, I’m feeling hot. I’m going to take my coat off. How are you feeling right now?”

Give them structure to their hours and days. We need to get X then we are stopping to drop Y at Nani’s then we can go to the park for a break. This helps a child form a mental map of the next few hours. Children are very concrete, having a calendar board or a list they can hold will help them follow the day. Pictures or photos are helpful for children who cannot read or remember multiple items. 

Let them help - Give your child a job at the store. They can help you locate or count out items. They can check off your gift list. Carrying things also gives proprioceptive input which helps with regulation. Let them help in the kitchen. This lets your children feel they are contributing to these important celebrations. 

Give them a break - There is so much to do, but kids are kids. Observe to see if they might need a snack, or to release energy or down shift with a nap or a snuggle. Let them run around or throw a ball at a park on the way home. Tell jokes and sing silly songs. Laughter releases stress for all of us.

If your child whines or behaves uncharacteristically, remember how hard these changes are on their bodies. Stay regulated yourself and help them think of solutions with you. Remember to schedule in family closeness each day. This is a good time to check in with how your children are handling these seasonal changes.